flying wings

The following is a true story of a friend of mine who survived a desperate situation after practicing Buddhism. Let’s listen to her confession:

September 2006 was a difficult time in my life. Due to long-term physical discomfort, after examination at the cancer hospital, I was diagnosed with poorly differentiated and highly malignant breast cancer, accompanied by lymphatic metastasis. Facing such a cruel reality, I was desperate, helpless, angry, and almost on the verge of mental collapse. I asked myself thousands of times, why me? I thought I was kind, sincere, serious about my work, and a good person in people’s eyes. However, I received this death notice when I was in middle age. I was so close to touching the door of death.

In order to cure the disease and survive, I chose surgery and the painful postoperative chemotherapy. The treatment of cancer patients is extremely painful, and the treatment process is a living hell on earth. I endured unbearable psychological and physical torture and fought hard to recover my body and my fate. I have an 80-year-old mother and underage children. They needed me, and I had responsibilities and obligations to them, but I couldn’t face myself, I didn’t have the courage to live. I was like a speeding train that suddenly hit a tunnel, shattered like dust and beyond recognition. During chemotherapy, I stayed in the Chemotherapy Department of the Cancer Hospital and saw all kinds of people. No matter you are powerful or wealthy, here, power and money cannot buy life. Life is like morning dew on the grass. , disappeared in an instant, silently.

The patient I saw today will be separated from the yin and yang in a few days. The treatment procedure in the hospital is treatment – metastasis and recurrence – re-treatment – re-recurrence until death. I never thought that I would get cancer, and I had never seen the pain of this world, the sadness of separation between life and death, and the inseparability from such a close distance. I asked the doctor and myself how long my life would last. I knew I was bound to die. I was desperate, helpless, and the pain was devouring my fragile heart. I started to have insomnia, my hands and feet were sweating, I was feeling flustered, and I was crying all day long.

One day I suddenly heard a song in the hospital, “Invisible Wings” by Zhang Shaohan. Some of the lyrics were “I know I have a pair of invisible wings, taking me through despair…” I felt depressed after hearing it. Months of sadness erupted like a volcano. I cry about my miserable fate. I cry about my failure to protect my body, which is unfilial to my mother. I cry about my failure to fulfill my duties as a mother, which is unkind to my son. I cry about my dragging down my husband, making him haggard and exhausted physically and mentally. It is unkindness to her husband. I don’t know where the wings are that take me over despair. I am helpless and hesitant. Life is worse than death, but I am unwilling to die. After half a year of long chemotherapy, the so-called medical treatment I received was over. The doctor told me to check frequently and find out problems in time and solve them promptly. I know that I have been included in the “normal” treatment track for cancer patients, and I can survive without recurrence. If there is recurrence and metastasis, then it will be a new round of chemotherapy, and the cycle will repeat until death. Just as the doctor said – life continues, chemotherapy continues, chemotherapy stops, life rests.

In order to survive, I went out to practice Guolin Qigong every day before dawn. I practiced for four hours every day. In the hot summer, my hair was bald due to chemotherapy. I put on a wig and covered my face with sweat. The sun scorched her red, and her clothes got wet and stuck to her body in the sultry air of the dog days. Look at the park where you are the only one walking around like a “donkey”. Feelings of grief, anger, grievance, and despair will suddenly spread from the bottom of your heart, hurting to the bone, and tears pouring down.

In June 2007, Lay Practitioner Lianyoujin, a like-minded person with whom I share the same goals, appeared in my life. She is a devout Buddhist, honest, kind and honest. When she learned about my situation, she encouraged me and helped me, and brought me many books about believing in Buddhism and reciting Buddha’s name to save lives. Among them, the ones that had the greatest impact on me were “Four Lessons from the World” and “Life is Yourself”. “Efforts bit by bit”, “Tai Shang Induction Chapter”, etc. Although I also like philosophy and religion, I really dabble in it. When it comes to learning knowledge, it is unacceptable and even repulsive to believe in and uphold it. I think it is ignorance and superstition.

But after reading the stories in the book, I was deeply moved. At this time, I started to believe in Buddhism from not believing in Buddhism at first. But the purpose of believing in Buddhism at this time was very utilitarian, that is, to survive. Under the guidance and supervision of Master Jin, I started to read the Ksitigarbha Sutra (one piece a day). Since I am a temperamental person with big mood swings, she asked me to read the Diamond Sutra and led me to release lives and worship and repent. . To be honest, at this stage I worked hard to do meritorious deeds, thinking that doing meritorious deeds would extend my life. In terms of mind nature, although I accept and uphold the Diamond Sutra, sometimes I still cannot see through it, cannot let it go, and have constant troubles. In the blink of an eye, summer turned to winter, and the miserable winter began. Listening to the bad news of patients dying, and hearing the cases of metastasis and recurrence one after another, along with this snowy winter, my heart became extremely cold, and it fell again. Low point in life.

Before the Spring Festival in 2008, when he saw me feeling depressed, Master Jin said, “It would be great if I could see Teacher Guoqing.” But where could I see him? I think I am blessed with little luck and little luck, and I don’t have this blessing in this life. From that day on, Lay Practitioner Jin prayed to the Buddha and Bodhisattvas every day in her small Buddhist hall, hundreds of times a day, until her face was filled with sweat and tears. Wherever sincerity comes, gold and stone will open. Because of the sincerity of the heart, opportunities will come. I had the chance to meet Teacher Guoqing’s friend Hai Bo, and she decided to take me to see Teacher Guoqing on the fifth day of the first lunar month in 2008. (Laity Hai Bo is the protagonist of an article in “Record of Modern Cause and Effect”). At that time, Lay Practitioner Hai Bo’s child was sick. She had no time to take care of her child, so she took me there. Haibo has a pair of bright big eyes, she is very beautiful, she has a blue heart, wisdom, gentleness and simplicity. (I am grateful for her kindness and her sincerity. She is a precious friend in my life. I hereby wish her peace and happiness throughout her life. ) When I first met Teacher Guoqing, I was moved by his noble moral character such as integrity, kindness, humility, and not being greedy for money or material things.

He earnestly warned me to “take the precepts as my teacher” and analyzed for me how to uphold the five precepts and how to uphold the Ksitigarbha Sutra. He corrected many of my misunderstandings in the process of studying Buddhism and benefited me a lot. Make a vow to start eating a vegetarian diet from today onwards and never commit any killing karma again. At about eight o’clock the next night, Teacher Guo Qing called me and said, “Do you want to know how you got this disease?” “Yes, I really want to know,” I said impatiently. I thought the teacher would definitely tell me what I had killed in my previous life or this life, and what sins I had committed, so that I received such bad retribution and short-lived retribution. My heart pounded nervously.

But to my surprise, the teacher said gently on the phone: “Recall, after you got married, did you have any friends of the opposite sex beyond work?” After hearing this, I said loudly in my heart: “Oh my God, teacher, you Don’t accuse me wrongly. I am a decent woman from a good family. I have only been in love once, and the only person of the opposite sex I have married and started a family with is my current husband. I gave all my pure feelings to him. I have never had a one-night stand at all. , or even an extramarital affair. How could this be the cause of my illness?” Seeing my silence, the teacher said seriously: “Your illness is caused by sexual misconduct. If you can deeply repent, your illness will be cured. “

The teacher waited patiently for me and asked me to recall bit by bit. I suddenly remembered that after I returned from my trip and got married, my work unit wanted to allocate a house. A leader in charge of the house asked me to come and talk about the house allocation. thing. I went and we talked for an hour, just about length of service, academic qualifications, and how to add points. It was dark, and when I was going home, he suddenly hugged me and said he liked me. We just hugged and didn’t do anything transgressive.

After hearing this, the teacher said: “This is the real reason for your illness. Although you have no real problems, you did not refuse in your heart. After that, you often had evil thoughts and lustful thoughts in your heart.” “Ksitigarbha Sutra” says: “All sentient beings in Jambudvipa, their actions and thoughts, are all karma. All are sins.”

I put down the phone with tears streaming down my face and bursting into tears. I asked the sky thousands of times, why is it me? Today, Teacher Guo Qing gave me a qualitative answer.

Since then, my study of Buddhism has entered an unprecedented stage of orthodox belief. From not believing in Buddhism at the beginning to believing in Buddhism for the sake of living, to meeting Teacher Guoqing and observing the precepts and practicing piously. This is my life. major changes. I am fortunate that I met this good teacher with morals and cultivation when I was confused and hesitant. Especially his “Record of Modern Cause and Effect” and “Discussing Compassion and Compassion in Liang Huang’s Treasure Confessions” played a role in enlightening me and changed my life. It changed my life and my understanding of Buddhism. I read these two books carefully several times and followed the instructions in the book personally.

First of all, I repent of all the bad karma I have done, starting from “killing, stealing, sexual intercourse, delusion, drinking, greed, anger, ignorance, pride, suspicion, filial piety, brotherhood, etiquette, righteousness, and trustworthiness” and repent once a day. From childhood to modern times, I have recalled all the big and small things one by one, and confessed each and every wrong I did. I have developed a good habit of reflecting on my mistakes every day, repenting heartily, and then follow the “Long Talk on Compassion and Compassion” by Huang Huang Bao Confessions The teachings in the book accept and uphold the “Ksitigarbha Sutra”, observe the five precepts, and do not eat any meat or fish. Now I am a reborn me. I can face this bloody reality, I can accept it calmly and no longer blame others, I can face life and death calmly, I can find hope in despair, and I can dream of heaven in hell. Buddha Dharma is a wonderful Dharma, and it takes me to fly over the wings of despair. I am grateful to the Buddha and Bodhisattvas, and to all the good teachers who have worked hard for me. Memories are painful, and uncovering healed scars is even more painful.

Sisters who have the chance to read this article, whether you believe in Buddhism or not, you must purify your mind. It is best to abstain from eating meat and fish and adopt a vegetarian diet. At the very least, you must not kill any living beings. If you don’t do anything indecent or illegal, this world will really be a network of heaven and earth, and there will be no omissions! Karma doesn’t play any jokes on you. You can’t get what doesn’t belong to you. If you touch it, you should repent in time, and don’t think randomly and feel retribution for evil. I have come through hell on earth, and I know its suffering and pain. If you can gain something from my story, then I did not suffer from this disease in vain. I hope that I am the last person to be punished in hell, and I hope that the door of hell will be closed after me. Please keep a pure and innocent heart in this materialistic society. It is Wings that will take you to heaven.

Postscript: It has been two years since I got sick. Every time I go to the hospital for a review, the test results are normal. Thanks to Buddha’s blessing, I can get to where I am today. While I was happy, I also shared my experiences of benefiting from studying Buddhism with my patients. Some patients immediately believed and accepted it after hearing it, followed the precepts and repented, and their condition improved greatly. Some patients sneer at this and miss the opportunity to save themselves. Their condition relapses and there is no way to save themselves. I firmly believe that as long as cancer patients practice according to the law, miracles will definitely happen in their lives. I hope that all the suffering patients in the world can use Buddhism to save themselves in desperate situations, and use sincerity, sincerity, and willingness to resow our lives. I believe that I can do it, and so can you.

Beginner Buddhist disciple: Gu Hua

Tip: Gu Hua went to work a few months after vowing to be a vegetarian and repenting. He also went to the cancer hospital every week to speak out his own words for cancer patients, and presented “Ksitigarbha Sutra” and “Modern Cause and Effect Record”, which has helped many cancer patients to turn around. Some patients often just want to get better, but are unwilling to change the cause of their illness. The reason why layperson Gu recovered quickly from her illness was the result of her following the teachings. On the one hand, we rely on the power of Buddha to recite sutras and recite Buddha’s name; on the other hand, we repent seriously, correct our mistakes, and practice good deeds. Repent of every wrong thing you have ever done since childhood, and develop the habit of reflecting on your mistakes every day. I hope that all patients in the world can follow suit and practice it, get rid of the pain of illness as soon as possible, and get rid of suffering and gain happiness.