Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law resentment
For countless kalpas, in the six realms of life and death, we don’t know how much resentment we have had with all sentient beings because of the three poisons.
“Liang Huang’s Treasure Confessions” says: “All living beings have resentment. How can we know it? If there is no resentment, then there is no evil path. Now the evil path is endless. The three paths are always boiling. This is the understanding of resentment. There is no end. The sutra says, everything. All living beings have a mind, and they are obsessed with life and death, and do not know the root of reincarnation. Six ways. There is no stopping. All living beings are covered by ignorance and are caused by the three poisonous roots. Ten troubles. Depend on the five views. Depend on the body, speak, and speak evil words. . Those who are greedy, angry, and ignorant, praise the ten evil ways, and then rely on the six emotions. Eighty-four thousand dust-laden doors are opened. Sixty-two kinds of evil are caused in one thought. Eighty-four thousand dust-laden doors are opened in one thought. . The sins caused by the calamities in one month and one year are endless.”
In order to resolve these resentments, we must firmly believe in cause and effect, repent of karma, strictly observe the precepts, and cultivate extensive merits.
Let me tell you a real example about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law:
Zhang Lan and her mother-in-law had a very harmonious relationship at first, but after living together for a year, her mother-in-law often scolded her for trivial things. Her husband was a filial son and never said a word when his mother lost her temper. This made Zhang Lan Very distressed and angry.
My mother-in-law is retired at home, and she does all the housework such as grocery shopping and cooking. Her mother-in-law was feeling unwell these days and asked Zhang Lan to cook. Zhang Lan agreed without any complaints. After that, I get up early and go to bed late every day, cook the meals and do the housework.
It was Saturday. Zhang Lan got up a little later. At this time, her mother-in-law had already prepared breakfast with her own hands. Before Zhang Lan could explain, her mother-in-law began to accuse her: “The toilet must be flushed every day. If it is not flushed for a day, it will become dirty and dirty.” Shit, for such a simple thing as cooking, you have to spend three days fishing and two days drying the nets, what else can you do?”
The father-in-law who was standing next to him came to dissuade her, but the more he tried to persuade her, the more excited she became. Amidst the scolding, Zhang Lan remained silent and suppressed her inner grievance. She works very hard herself. She is usually very filial to her parents-in-law and tries to follow their wishes in everything. Unexpectedly, today she got up a little late and was unreasonably scolded by her mother-in-law. She finished her breakfast with tears in her eyes, washed the dishes, apologized to her mother-in-law, and went straight out to cry to fellow Buddhists to express her grievances…
After listening to Zhang Lan’s cry, I said to her: “Oh, don’t cry anymore. The reason why you are experiencing what you are today is because you had a misunderstanding with your mother-in-law in your past life, which caused an insurmountable problem.” Resolve the grudges.”
During the Tang Dynasty, Zhang Lan was once the emperor’s most favored concubine. One time, the imperial concubine and the emperor were watching a song and dance performance with great interest. A military general was framed for his incompetence in the expedition and was recalled to see the emperor. At this time, the imperial concubine sitting next to the emperor approached the emperor and said a few words. No one below heard it, but the military general was extremely unhappy when he saw this and mistakenly thought that the imperial concubine was the one who framed him.
In fact, the imperial concubine also asked the emperor to pardon her crime, but the emperor had made up his mind to kill him as a warning to others, so he ordered him to be imprisoned and his official position reduced. Not only was this military commander tortured, but he was also thrown out of office and imprisoned, leaving more than a dozen members of his family with no way to make a living. For this reason, he kept all his resentment on the imperial concubine, always thinking that the imperial concubine was framed against him behind his back. The reason why the military commander misunderstood and wronged the imperial concubine was because the imperial concubine had also misunderstood and wronged the military commander in her past life.
Such cause and effect continue, and they get together again in this life. The general is Zhang Lan’s current mother-in-law, and the grudges between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law continue.
According to Zhang Lan’s recollection: Once, one of her classmates came to visit her home. When they met for the first time, her mother-in-law asked the classmate: “Has Zhang Lan ever said anything bad about me behind my back?” Afterwards, the classmate told Zhang Lan these things, She didn’t take it seriously. But later I discovered that her mother-in-law often suspected her of speaking ill of her behind her back, until she accused and reprimanded her face to face.
After experiencing this incident, Zhang Lan realized that all the consequences were caused by herself in the past life, so she began to reflect on herself, repented of her karma, became vegetarian, and recited 49 Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva’s Original Vow Sutra to dedicate to her mother-in-law to resolve mutual resentment. . From then on, I began to observe the precepts and practice seriously.
Three months later, the relationship between Zhang Lan and her mother-in-law has been greatly improved. Now her parents-in-law treat her as their own daughter, and the family is happy.
Tip: “Modern Cause and Effect Record” (1) and (2) said when talking about how to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and mother: “Treat your mother as your mother-in-law, and treat your mother-in-law as your mother.” In the same way, as a daughter, you must treat your mother Treat her like a mother-in-law, treat your mother-in-law like a mother.
why? Because most people respect their father-in-law and mother-in-law more than family affection, and they have more affection for their parents than respect, so they will be more casual and willful in front of their parents, and even be a little wanton, which sometimes makes parents feel that their children are not treating them well. Respectfully but secretly sad or angry.
In front of the father-in-law, mother-in-law, parents-in-law, they appear more respectful (referring to the better sons-in-law and daughters-in-law), but the family affection is less or not shown at all. All these will cause estrangement or conflict between mother-in-law, daughter-in-law and son-in-law.
If someone wants to change a bad relationship, recite three to seven parts of the Ksitigarbha Sutra for the other person in front of the Buddha statue (avoiding killing and eating vegetarian food during the recitation period is most effective), and you can try to gradually use your affection for your parents to Apply the same respect to your parents-in-law and parents-in-law to your parents-in-law, and you may get unexpected results. The other person is really not good to you, no matter who you say good things to him, over time, it will have miraculous effects.
