Teaching by example and often saying the three good things
One afternoon last autumn, a woman in her fifties among a dozen lay people from Shijiazhuang who came to Mount Wutai was telling her difficulties to the old monk Miaofa in the reception room.
“It has been four years since I converted to Buddhism. I have been a vegetarian on the first and fifteenth day of the Lunar New Year, but my health has never been good. It was not until I met a good teacher half a year ago that I realized that in order to keep my body healthy and free from illness, I must completely eliminate all meat. . I didn’t expect that my health would really get better day by day after I stopped eating meat. Only then did I realize that eating three pure meats was just a convenient way.
“Since then, I have often advised my children to eat vegetarian food to avoid getting sick in the future. But not only did they not listen, they also said that the more I studied Buddhism, the more stupid I became. Not only did they intensify their efforts to persuade me to eat meat, they even bought live turtles. , they want to give me supplements. It really makes me angry. I often argue with them about this. But no one can convince anyone, which makes the atmosphere in the house very tense. Recently, I couldn’t get angry anymore, so I asked a layman to live in the house. At home. The children later admitted my mistake and took me home. But when it came time to eat, everyone felt unhappy. I thought about becoming a monk, but I was afraid that the temple would not accept me; I wanted to go to a nursing home, but I was worried about being a vegetarian. It’s easy to solve. Now I’m very distressed and I beg Master for mercy and enlightenment.”
The old monk Miaofa sat cross-legged all the time, listening quietly to the female layman, and then slowly said: “People who follow Buddhism must know how to be gentle and obedient to the public, that is, they must respect other people’s habits, choices and beliefs, even their own. You cannot force your children to obey. It is certainly good for them to believe in Buddhism wholeheartedly and be a vegetarian, but you must also wait and see what happens, and do not rush for success. Otherwise, it may be counterproductive and cause them to resist and misunderstand Buddhism. We can adopt “one table, two systems” when it comes to eating, and we cannot blame our children for eating meat. We have to ask ourselves how long it has taken us to truly abstain from killing and eating meat? If we have cultivated well, why haven’t we escaped from the six realms today? Haven’t Buddhas and Bodhisattvas never abandoned us?
“Therefore, we must pay attention to timing and methods when converting people. In addition to teaching through words, we must also rely on teaching by example. For example, when they see that your complexion is getting better, your body is getting better, and your mentality is getting more peaceful after you practice Buddhism and become a vegetarian, They will naturally believe in the Dharma. Slowly, they will move closer to you under your influence. Of course, if you want to save others, the most important thing is that you must first strive to be “righteous but not evil, aware but not confused.” , If you want to correct others, you must first correct yourself.
“In addition, as an elderly person, you should always say “three good things”.
- Always say good things about your children, even if they are bad.
- Always say that life is good, even if it is not good, say it is good.
- Always say good things to your relatives and friends, and say good things even if they are not good.
“Elders should always keep the above three points in mind and talk about it. Be content with what you have! Whether it’s your children, relatives, friends or neighbors, even if we didn’t get along as well as you wanted, because you always conceal evil and promote good, and repay evil with kindness. , over time, they will also change due to shame. Often saying “three good things” will definitely gain everyone’s respect and popularity, and your life will naturally get better and better.
“On the other hand, if you are afraid that others will not respect you, you always put on the airs of your elders and find fault with others, it will often backfire, causing estrangement from your children, relatives and friends, making life become a constant source of friction, and everyone will be full of resentment.
“Similarly, the ‘three good’ Kung Fu principles are applicable to everyone. If Kung Fu cannot be mastered, no matter whether you are the elderly or your children, your husband or your wife, whether you are a monk or at home, you will have endless troubles.”
The female layperson kept nodding her head while listening to the teachings of the old monk Miaofa. The sad look on her face at the beginning was gone, replaced by a cheerful look on her face.
The Buddha Dharma is truly a wonderful Dharma, and the old monk Miao Dharma is truly a wonderful master. He can always explain profound Buddhist principles in an easy-to-understand, smooth and smooth way.
