This is a true story of cause and effect, an example of cause and effect problems in family marriages. The complainant is Mr. Liu, who is 39 years old and currently unemployed with a personal debt of over 500,000 yuan at home.
Five years ago, at the Civil Affairs Bureau, my ex-wife pointed at Xiaolei and asked me: “Do you really think your love with her can withstand the test of daily necessities? Do you really think she can take my place in this family? Yes! I She is a yellow-faced woman, a woman with no future who only knows how to take care of children at home. But don’t forget, the reason why you can be so glamorous outside is because you never worry about things at home! As long as the original wife is willing, she can Become the lover of any man, but a lover may not necessarily become a qualified first wife. A concubine is a concubine, even if she is elevated to the right position, she is still a concubine at heart!”
Seeing my ex-wife’s face deformed by resentment, I unconsciously hugged Xiaolei.
Xiaolei looked at me with an aggrieved face. After her ex-wife left, she said pitifully: “She said I was a concubine! I am also a girl from a good family. If I hadn’t fallen in love with a married man like you, how could I have done it? I don’t care, I have been wronged, and you have to compensate me.”
I said, “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,” my head was nodding like a kowtowing insect, but I didn’t really agree with Xiaolei’s words in my heart. Before she came to me, she had been divorced twice.
According to her, the first divorce was because her husband’s family didn’t take her seriously, and the man was a mama’s boy who only listened to his parents. The second divorce was because her husband’s family favored boys over girls and did not want to see her and her daughter. In addition, her ex-husband was an alcoholic and unmotivated. She reluctantly divorced and left her daughter with her ex-husband.
I had doubts at the time, since she cared so much about her daughter, and since she knew that her mother-in-law’s family favored sons over daughters, why didn’t she take her daughter away when the divorce was made. She said it wasn’t that she didn’t want to take care of her, but that she didn’t have the ability to take care of her. She was an out-of-town girl with an unstable job, unstable income, and an unstable place to live with her daughter.
I don’t know if the previous ones are true, but it’s true that her income is not high and she has no fixed place to live, and she spends a lot of money, including good food and drink. If I hadn’t been seduced by her pretty appearance, I wouldn’t have been able to pursue a relationship with a man who was cheating on me.
Even though I knew she might not be a good woman, even though I knew she might not be a good wife or wife like my ex-wife, I couldn’t stop falling in love with her and divorced my ex-wife because of her.
My ex-wife didn’t ask for a house, and I wouldn’t give it to her, because it was a down payment from my parents, and the mortgage was paid off with my salary.
After the divorce, my ex-wife took the children back to her parents’ home, and she found a job there. It was said that the work was not good, and it was quite hard and tiring. Xiaolei and I received the certificates and lived in the home where my ex-wife and I originally lived.
In order to marry Xiaolei, I not only borrowed money to collect the bride price and prepared a very grand wedding, but also renovated the house according to her wishes and replaced all the furniture and appliances.
After the wedding, I calculated that in addition to my original savings being spent, I also owed more than 300,000 yuan in foreign debt. Xiaolei said it didn’t matter, she would return it with me. My salary at that time was more than 8,000 yuan, and Xiaolei’s salary was more than 3,000 yuan. I thought about getting older and worked hard for two years to pay off the debt.
But the situation is not what I thought at all. Xiaolei said that she would help me pay off the debt, but in life, it was time to spend money and buy things. She had not paid back what she owed in the past, and owed a lot more in the future. Although she owes it, since I married her, it is my debt.
In order to pay off debts and mend holes, I demolished the east wall to repair the west wall, and finally defrauded my parents of all their pension money.
After learning that I owed so much money and that I asked them to borrow money to fill the hole, my mother was so angry that she suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and died after resuscitation failed. My father suffered a cerebral infarction due to the blow, but his life was saved, but his leg became lame.
After my mother left, my relationship with Xiaolei also changed.
I think the reason why our family is like this is because of her, but she thinks it is my own inability, it is me who has dragged her down, and it is me who failed to let her live the kind of life I promised her.
Only then did I understand the difference between a well-raised family and one that raises water-based popcorn like Xiaolei, and neither can a dishonest person like me.
In the second year after marriage, I discovered that she was having an affair with another man behind my back.
Later, by chance, I contacted Xiaolei’s ex-husband, and learned about her character.
Not only does she love vanity, she also likes to fall in love with other people’s husbands. Her ex-husband is also the target of her cheating. She and her ex-husband had a daughter during their first marriage.
Before I could figure out what happened to Xiaolei, my father had a recurrence of cerebral infarction and was admitted to the hospital. As a wife, Xiaolei took the box back to her parents’ house as if nothing had happened. I asked her to go to the hospital to help me take care of my father. She said that he was not her biological father and that she did not have that obligation as a daughter-in-law. When I quarreled with her, she filed for divorce from me.
Because I took care of my father, I lost my job, my income, and even more unpaid money. My life fell into a vicious cycle, and I could no longer see hope.
When she learned that her father was ill, her ex-wife took her children to the hospital to visit him. Our eyes met, and neither of us spoke. I’m embarrassed to say that she was too lazy to talk to me.
The moment I saw the child, I realized how fast time passed. I always thought that Xiaolei and I had not been remarried for a long time. It has been more than four years, and it has been five years since I divorced my ex-wife.
When we divorced, our son was in the fourth grade of elementary school. He was almost as tall as my waist. Now he is a big boy and almost as tall as me.
I wanted to talk to him, but he ignored me at all. He only said a few words to his old father and then took his ex-wife out of the ward. Looking at the retreating figures of mother and son, the old father scolded me with trembling hands, saying that I was not living a good life and was ruining a family. I also regretted smoking a few big-eared melon seeds on myself.
I have thought about it. I will divorce Xiaolei when my father is discharged from the hospital. After the divorce, I will seize the time to make money to pay off the debt. As a father, let my son, at least he can’t harm his child.
Five years ago, I thought my ex-wife’s words were quotes from resentful wives. It took me five years to understand that not all women can be called wives or become wives.
Most women who are mistresses are not good women! If she was really kind, why would she interfere in other people’s families? If she was really kind, how could she hurt another innocent woman. Of course, men who cheat are not good either. For someone like me, I can only say that it’s only because of myself!
Final words:
The sharing person’s realization in the last paragraph is a painful realization, but it also hits the point: indeed, how can one be kind if he is willing to hurt others? How can you be kind if you break up other people’s families for your own benefit? If you are not kind, how can you expect to be treated kindly when you live together? It’s just that many people are unable to see clearly or are unwilling to see clearly when they are cheating or being cheated on.
Flies don’t bite perfectly formed eggs. The kind of person you are inspires you. Therefore, the source lies in yourself. You can’t blame others. No snowflake will fall in the wrong place. Everything is your own fault. I hope this sharing can make more people more aware and more restrained. A relationship that starts with hurt will eventually end with hurt. This is cause and effect.
